Friday, 23 May 2008

Upsettingly, this is a true story

A very bad thing has happened. Yuk.

I went out for a bite of dinner with the excellent stand-up comic, my mate Mike Wozniak. We went to Highgate, which is nice. The journey home involved walking to Archway, which is horrid. We stopped for once last drink at The Lion pub.

When Mike's pint was finished, an older (but not obviously trampish) chap came over and gave him a pint of Carling. "Here - it's for you", he wheezed. "I bought it for my friend, but he's left now... It's clean".

Obviously we discussed whether or not Mike should drink it - particularly in view of the "it's clean" comment. Mike drank an inch or so before he noticed that the man was doing something odd with his own pint of Guinness. With a syringe.

The man was performing the following routine:
1. Drawing up 20ml of Guinness from his glass into a syringe
2. Injecting the Guinness up a catheter tube and through his exposed cock
3. Waiting a minute or so
4. Drawing the Guinness (plus wee and bladder sediment presumably) back into the syringe
5. Squirting syringe back into pint
6. Drinking from pint glass
7. Repeat

We assumed - presumably correctly - that he had used the same bladder irrigation technique for Mike's pint. Mike made himself vomit, and we spent the journey home discussing the possible diseases that could have be transmitted.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is way too sick to be real....

Anonymous said...

bloody brilliant story!

maybeedeluxe said...

Poor Mike :(

Though it sounds like an urban legend .... :P
Got any videos or photos to proof the story? ;)

Anonymous said...

no way!! this sorta thing does NOT actually happen, i mean come on! i know that there are plenty of 'characters' out there and probably even more so in london but....no way!

spooky-kate said...

Adam, would you p l e a s e tell us this is just a joke? If it's not, it totally freaks me out!!!
And have your mothers never told you not to accept ANYTHING from strangers (including beer)?

Geek @ Kedai.TV said...

heard that one before when I was in OBAN.

Best regards

azrin @ www.azrin.net

Anonymous said...

OMG you guys are sooo stupid, accepting the drink.

IChameleon said...

Obviously he was an undercover rep for Club 18-30 testing out a new party game (that's 18 to 30 units of alcohol per session).
Soon to appear on the menu board at your local Walkabout!!

NEO-CONDUIT said...

lol that is so funny!!! I would have pissed my pants with laughter at that(if I could have). Then gagged. Wouldn't even touch my own pee without gloves.

A FREND OF THE FLOOGA DOOGA said...

OMFG THAT IS SO AWESUM
LOVE FROM A FREND OF THE FLOOGADOOGA

Anonymous said...

its true i've seen this guy in archway twice. Couldn't work out what the fuck he was doing. Must note not to accept any pints off him.