Thursday, 21 August 2008

Cock Tales

Excellent news - our mate (& compere to our London shows) Mike Wozniak has been nominated for Best Newcomer at the comedy awards at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival! Which just goes to show where 6 long years of medical school and hard work for postgraduate exams can get you...

He tells a few... er... male genital-orientated stories in his set; I was quite amused that, when one of the audience members sitting near me whispered "What's that?" to her neighbour, Mike kindly furnished her with some rather graphic detail - unaware that she's actually a Urologist (a.k.a A Cock Doc) who had just misheard his previous sentence!

The last few shows that Adam & I did went really well. It seems that we had a larger proportion of fans at those final gigs - people not only mouthing the words but even singing along to songs; I was quite surprised that there were a couple of people who were joining in with the new songs that we'd never performed before Edinburgh - I think they must've already seen the show earlier in the week and come back for more! Fair enough...

So Mike's still there performing every night. Meanwhile Adam & I are at work again. I've finally got my voice back. It had started to tire after a while; I found that alcohol wasn't helping loosen my vocal cords on stage - I'd tried whisky, dry cider... the only thing that helped was my own concoction of a glass of hot but not boiling water, with a slice of lime in it. It was only when I'd realised where I'd seen it before that I came up with a name for it: The Fingerbowl.

3-days off now - hurrah for the long weekend!

Sunday, 17 August 2008

Riddle me ree

My first is in dickhead but isn't in cunt
My second's in dickhead but isn't in cunt
My third is in dickhead but it is in cunt
My fourth is in dickhead but isn't in cunt
My fifth, sixth and seventh in dickhead, not cunt
My eighth is in dickhead but isn't in cunt.

What am I?

Thursday, 14 August 2008

Edinburgh First of all

It's been going very well here. We've done 4 nights so far of 2 shows each to full houses. The audiences have loved the new stuff & we're having a lot of fun performing. Although the trombone is now going to have to become a permanent feature of the act...

Given that we're on at prime time in the evening/night, I've only managed to see a handful of other Fringe shows, daytime or late-night. They've mostly been good - although one was improved when the fire alarm went off & the building had to be evacuated; but then we were surrounded by dozens of people with flyers, telling us, captive, about their shows. Was it a cunning marketing ploy? Adam made a joke about a "Flyer alarm". I laughed.

The best show I've seen has been our mate & compere Mike Wozniak, who is destined for greatness. Remember, you saw him here first.

The rest of the time I've been exploring Edinburgh. On day one I ate a deep-fried haggis pastie, thus getting all of Scottish cuisine out of the way in one go. I've also been out to a few bars - last night I was standing next to a fairly-well known very confident rising star* & overheard he was upset about a bad review...

One of the best bits of this trip is that we're off work - after all, this is my summer holiday - so I don't have to get up at 6am. This week, I've gone out every night & woken up about midday in an unfamiliar bed with an unfamiliar female next to me. Admittedly it's just my landlady's cat.

I know nothing about cats. I was quite pleased to learn that I am not fatally allergic to cats. My landlady's have been brought up on nothing but opera; so I'm not sure whether I should feel guilty that I have introduced them to funk & hip-hop - in any case, I never knew that cats could dance so well.

Three more nights of shows. It can only go better than last night when, by sheer coincidence & for the first time ever, I had not one, but two ex-girlfriends* in the audience! I didn't know where to look... But it's OK, I managed to address songs to both of them equally..;o)

Right, I'm going to look for a deep-fried Mars bar & an apple... wonder which one I'll find first...?

(*not telling you who)

Friday, 8 August 2008

Take The High Road

Adam & I are playing at the Edinburgh Festival together for the first time since 2005.

Despite being well-prepared in the run-up (regarding the venue, advertising, rehearsals etc.)it's all started to go a bit wrong leaving London today... I expected difficulties in using the Tube at rush hour and anticipated the additional problems of bringing along a large rucksack. But the trombone reduced my manoeuverability considerably. As did the digital piano.

Well, we're on the train to Scotchland now. After a ticketing fuck-up, Adam is sitting on the floor at the other end of the train carriage.
I, on the other hand, have drawn the short straw. I'm sitting one seat behind a screaming baby.

[40 minutes later]
Oh Lordy. Why won't he stop?
It's as if he's only just learnt how to scream and now he's testing out all the various options.
Why doesn't the mother do something?

Ew. The mother has done something.
And now I'm creeped out.

Now, I don't object to breastfeeding in public. (Or in private.)
And I can't even see the mum in the seat in front of me.
But this kid is STARING at me. He's looking right at me while he's feeding. Why has he got his eyes open anyway? Isn't it like kissing, you have to shut your eyes?

Anyway, Adam & I are playing two shows a night for the next week. We'll hopefully post on the blog a few times while we're up here.

(Show starts tomorrow but there's still lots to do today when we get to Edinborough - I haven't changed any money or had my jabs.)